Member-only story
It’s Not Always About You!
Don’t Take it or Make it Personal.
A woman who seemed perfectly normal and intelligent told me, “I’m not on Facebook because it’s owned by the CIA and I don’t want them to know my business.”
My instant response was, “Why would they want to know your business? I mean, she was an elderly woman who’d been married for 60 years, never left the country, raised her kids, and now spends her time reading and doing art.
Her response to my question was a rant about the government. As she talked, I tried to think of any reason she might be worried about the CIA. My imagination ran wild for a few moments trying to picture her as a spy or a criminal who posed a threat to national security.
I came up with nothing.
As for me, I used to be incredibly self-conscious and painfully shy. I hated to go to parties or other events because I imagined when I walked in that people were looking at me and judging me. When someone whispered and giggled, I instantly thought or imagined they were talking about me.
When I explained this to my counselor, many years ago, his instant response was, “Why would they be talking about you? What makes you think you’re so important that everyone would judge you or talk about you?”